March 31, 2012

Been thinking too much, I hope.

Well, it is definitely going to be a long wordy post today. Today, I had a lot of time to think when I was out going to SMU to submit my application. I had a lot to think about actually. Not all because I met two of my ex-classmates but this was the main reason. Okay. I am going to remove to the blog on my twitter now. Just in case people see the blog and get offended. Actually, no. There is nothing to get offended about. Okay. Going to start now.....ahem.

I saw two of my classmates from secondary school today. Not going to put names here, because it would serve no purpose.

When I saw one of them on the train, I stared a little harder. My eyes seemed to have deteriorated lately so I squinted my eyes. Yup, quite positive it was my classmate. She stared at me, but did not smile. I was wondering...maybe she did not recognise me. Alright. Going up the escalator, I walked up to them.

"Hi! I haven't seen you in a longgg time."

Awkward silence.

Then, "Oh, I thought I saw you on the train, but I was not sure."

I was pretty sure she did recognise me. I do not change much.

" where did you go after 'O's? You went to a JC right?" The other classmate said. The tone used was not very nice. I sort of got the "I am inferior" vibes although I did better than them. Okayyy.

So I said the truth," Hmmm. I went to SAJC. I repeated a year, so I am only applying for Uni now."


Change of topic. She asked the other classmate about a movie. I felt as though they did not want me there. So weird.

The thing is, we were classmates and we got along well. Why did they treat me like a stranger? A smile would have been enough. Catching up was good. But this? Is this courtesy? It was not very nice of them.

I do not know. Does time make people so cold towards each other? You know, when I see my schoolmates or classmates, old or new, I would definitely be very happy to see them and give them a hug or something. Unless, I just happen to look very unglamorous. Then I would wish to dig myself a hole and hide. But that's beside the point. Why so unfriendly? I was just saying hi? I am pretty sure I never offended them.

Ah whatever. I should not let it affect me. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. I am not Christian, But I do believe in this strongly. That's why I try not to be mean to others even if I do not really like them. If I do not like them, it is my business. But they do not deserve to be treated meanly. Oh well. I guess people are really different.

Another incident was a little closer to my heart.

It is regarding the German Exchange Programme. To be honest, I am very very thankful that Josephine invited me over to join them tomorrow. However, the thing is, I am often confused about my role in this event. Am I just someone to help out or one of the organisers? I highly think I am meant to be the former. Maybe it was just a courtesy? I don't know. But I did not know about anything about the tour:/ It is very difficult for me to help out. I sort of understand the feeling some people get when someone asks you for a favour and you want to do it all by yourself. I know, because I get the feeling too. But I was really willing to help. D: I am a little upset that I was not given any role but be a follower.

To be frank, I did not enjoy welcoming the Germans to Singapore at the airport. Firstly, I was not very close to Mrs D. Although I am really thankful to her for always inviting me to join them in whatever they had previously. I did not exchange emails with her regularly. I am not close to her. I did not have any idea what to do but to follow. I was lost. I do not like the feeling actually. But the worst feeling was when I saw the booklet without my name in it. I was very sad when I saw the draft on Facebook. You did not give me a chance to help. But allowed me to tag along. I don't know what to feel. Maybe I should have said I was busy.

I don't know if Josephine ever reads this blog but Josephine, if you do chance upon this post don't get offended okay! I still love you <3 but I cannot help what I feel. I am really thankful that you invited me along:) I hope that later will be a blast! Because I think this will definitely be my last time helping out.

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