As you may have realized from the previous post, I was seriously considering keeping my Facebook account deactivated. How do I explain the reason? Well...you can say that I want to keep myself away from reality and not face the fact that others have moved on and continued with their lives whereas I have only reached the spot that they have reached last year or I am just not that interested in other people lives anymore. I do not know.
But oh well, I reactivated it in the end. Much have changed. I think it had been 6 months or so since I have stepped into Facebook and I can hardly recognize the interface. If I may say so, I felt like an intruder. Obviously I did not feel as if I belonged there anymore. Well, maybe I never did.
I looked through the profiles of some of my friends and frankly, I did not enjoy the experience. It was a painful reminder of what I had sacrificed. Many of them made new friends and had wonderful experiences. What did I have? I was still the same old me. I have not changed much. Maybe I became more selfish. That is a lie. I know I have became much more selfish than I ever was.
Life have made me this way. Sometimes, I give it my all and get nothing back. I get so frustrated and annoyed. I learn my lesson. Research and think about what do I expect in return and make my expectations clear before committing. I do not really like this side of me, but I understand that it is how we grow up.
Anyway, as I was saying, I really do not feel like I belong in Facebook anymore. Maybe I should just deactivate it for good. Maybe I will belong again. I do not know. What I know is, right now, at this point of time, I just wanna pretend that nothing has changed and everyone is just as I know them.
Fat hope.
That's all. Sorry for the boring/emo/Idonotknowwhatareyoutalkingabout post. I am just reflecting on my life. Haha.
Rebecca:/
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