Stress is good for health. Seriously?

Whoever coined in that phrase is a little crazy. I absolutely detest feeling stressed! It is like sleeping on the floor for 2 nights in a row. You body feels achy and a massage does not help because it is all in the mind!

Boo hoooo.

So many assignment and too little time. I hope that I would be able to finish most of them by this week so that I will have sufficient time to finish studying all my modules for the exam. This semester is especially important because I will have my GPA freezed next semester because I am going for exchange. >.< Plus, I am taking 6 modules! I am crazy. First time taking six modules and I am crying holy mama! Hahaha. That kind of came out a little off.

At this point of time, I really have to be grateful for my fellow coursemates. Since they probably do not know the existence of this blog, I think it would be safe to say that because they are so on the ball, they have influenced me to do the same. If it was me in the past, I think I might keep procrastinating till the last minute. Thanks to them, I have discovered the joy of doing much of my work before the deadline and finding the discipline to do so because everyone else is doing it and you do not want to lose out.

Unfortunately, this stress has shown its side effects again. Craving for fast food is not fun when you are trying to lose weight. My weight loss attempt has been not very successful so far. Sigh o sigh.

To illustrate how studious(relatively) I am, here's a picture of my messy table.

Notes with home made mind-map goodness(I wish)

Anyway, let me sidetrack a bit. SAJC made us do the love language test when I was there for one of the moral education lessons. I love taking these personality tests even though they are not entirely reliable and they can be utterly flawed. It is fun. So I wanted to see if I changed or something, so I did it again, this time online.

Oh look! Not much change! I think I used to be a little higher in words of affirmation, but now I have acts of service standing on equal grounds. Hahaha. Hmmmm. What is to be said from this test?

Education as an end instead of the means to an end.

So I got back my first midterm paper today. I did not do well at all, I got a B- and I feel very depressed about it. This module is my minor-to-be and I really enjoy the tutorials and lectures. So I reread my paper and got very confused as to why I got my grade. I really dislike getting bad grades. Technically speaking, B- is not that bad, but I would like for my grade to be better because I have to freeze it next semester.

After I got back my paper, I had a mini breakdown and I just felt so so upset and distressed because I really thought that I nailed it. I was so disturbed by it that I decided to walk home from the train station to recover myself. On my way home, I walked past a bus stop and saw this old lady wave me down. She wanted me to help her carry her purchases. I hesitated to help her because my parents warned me against old folks who scam people and accused the person who helped them of theft. I was seriously thinking of just pretending I did not understand. In the end, I decided to carry her (really heavy) purchases all the way to this other bus stop. The lady was a frail and you can tell she is having trouble walking quickly.

At that point of time, I just felt as if everything was better. Life is not just about exams and grades. There are much more to life than school. More importantly, I thought about why I am studying.

It is true that it is a means to an end, so that I will be able to survive in society when I leave school. But more significantly, it is supposed to be for my own personal development. For me to be able to understand why the society works as it does. Education is an end in itself. Learning and gaining the knowledge should be rewarding enough to make me happy. Why does my grades matter so much anyway?

The sad truth is, it does. In our meritocratic society, everything is based on the certificate. So in order to do well in life, I have to obtain the grades required.

So I would just have to resign myself to fate and consult my tutor regarding my grades and essay and figure out how can I do better for my final exams.