Promoter? #FAIL

Well, so the title so obviously states, I FAIL AS A PROMOTER D': On the 2nd day of work, I received a call by the person who called me. He asked if I liked the job.

I was like, ''Hmmm. It is okay." Haha, actually I meant something like, What? The job is so horrible! I wanna die already! So stressful, and my legs hurt! Turned out that at the rate I am promoting the stuff, he will not hit the sales target yada yada. I totally understand.

Then he said he will compensate me, I don't need to come tomorrow. In my heart, I was, ''YESSSS!!!!'' 4 hours for free! And I don't need to stand for four hours.

I got another job anyway. For the rest of my pre-university period. I am officially bonded to another company to do temp admin work. I have no idea what is the job scope, but I prefer to sit down. Haha. Yes, my arse is made out of gold. Anyway, I think I will be quite happy with my new job because it is 7 stops away from home. And the bus home will stop right outside home. Yay!

Here are some of the pictures on what has been going on in my life.

WARNING: My life is not the ''very happening'' kind(unfortunately).

Made a scarf (again)! It is different this time because it was knitted okay! I think I will give it to my cousin because it is a little short. It should be just nice for her because she is 8 :) She is my favourite cousin because we are both monkeys! She sort of reminds me of me. Sigh. Spy little mermaid at the back? Yes, I watch Little Mermaid. IT IS MY FAVOURITE! Tangled too. Sigh. I think I pretty much like shows that turn my inside into mush(the good way).

Rare ricey lunch at home. I eat very well right? Got all the required nutrients(sort of) :D

YUMMY cookies from Denmark from my mom's boss. She gave us chewing and bubble gums too but I gave most of it away because I cannot risk getting my jaw muscles too big. Gosh, I miss Denmark so much!!!

In my mum's office, helping my father mount the samples! Free labour right? -____-||| But, I found a sliver lining in the dark clouds! MY MUM'S OFFICE HAVE AN ENGRAVING THINGAMAGIC!!! Look look! I have a hidden talent! Engraving! Nice right? 10% Rolled annealed. No idea what it means. Haha.

Random doodle. But I really liked it! Cannot believe it was drawn by me. *pats back*

Made this for Lynette! What do you think it is?

Found a pretty hard PINK case for my phone. Gonna bling it! Watch me :p

Success! Managed to made yummy scrambled eggs. Yum yum. 

Tada! An elephant! Cute or not? Got lashes some more. Wonder why it is half blue and half cream? I ran out of blue yarn #fail. Added a bush of hair. The pattern was from here

Hi! Ain't I a cutie? <(o' 0 'o)>

 Went to the Volkswagen new showroom opening! It was mighty fun, with free food, free ice-cream and my first ever caricature!

Favourite snack! Candy floss! Melted really fast though.

My caricature, drawn free but I queued fro 1.5 hours. My brother says it looks like there is a tempura on my head. Unfortunately, I cannot disagree with him. -____- Does it look like me? :D I wanna buy copic markers now! 

 View from the job agency from the 37th storey. So beautiful right? Love Singapore berry berry much.

This LOOKS yummy, but it is not. Bought from cold storage, it was hard and I don't like it. Boo. 

Made shepherd's pie (pork version) from scratch all by myself. Yum yum. I made this without a recipe. I added a secret ingredient------martell. Haha. I have a tendency to add liquor in my food because I love the way it smells.

Mozzarella cheese on top? YES PLEASE!

Zoom in on the goodness.

Shepherd pie before cheesifying and baking.

Blurred picture of my hair after a trim. HOW IS THAT A TRIM? :'( miss my hair. Now it is back to how it looks like in June 2011. Well, the back is longer but the front.....sniff. I cannot see my back anyway! *regret*

Look who came for a visit? Little birdie! I reckoned he just came out from mama's nest because he/she was not afraid of me. 

Baked my pie with foil to prevent it from spattering the oven.

Results? Less brown parts. Boo. But it beats having to clean the oven. #lazybum

Bought a new hook with the gift card Apphia and Lynette gave me for my birthday. Very clever gift. Something I will definitely use:) Thanks again! <3

Growing collection of hooks <3 

Picture with my brother. I look so fair! (with filter)

Nice picture of Bishan park. It is a swing by the way. 

Another picture which I used to entice the rest of the Jew club to go for a picnic in Bishan Park. #FAIL. It rained and we went to Marina square instead. 

I look very Chinese here. A plump Chinese. Life sucks. I need to go exercise more. 

Tunisian breakfast at Wild Honey. They serve all day breakfast. Yum! Better than hatched! But Tunisian was not the best I have eaten!

Lunch with Shabira before nursing interview! Soup spoon! Yummy! 

Hmmm. that's all for today! It is quite fun having a lot of pictures in a blog post. Maybe I should do more of this and less talking. Haha. 

Rebecca:)

Cycling 40km is no joke. -___-||||

Well, my father had this crazy idea to cycle from East Coast Park(ECP) to Changi Village to eat dinner and then back again to return the bicycles within 3 hours. Crazy much? I had to cycle a single bike and I was behind my dad/mom(they were on a double bike) and my brother half the time! You cannot blame me okay! I have not exercised for a grand total of 4 months. When we reached Changi Village, I was hoping for a plate of Nasi Lemak to compensate the pain my arse was feeling but no. IT WAS UNDER RENOVATION!!!! I was like, daddy, you never do your research before coming here???? Grrrr. We cycled under the rain for nothing???? Okay, not for nothing. The view was very very beautiful on the way there. From the eroding beach of ECP to the Changi Airport take-off runway to the also eroding beach of Changi Beach, the sights were beautiful if you look beyond the eroding beaches. Oh. So were the sounds. You know the sound effect, the brass and everything in the movie theatre? You get the same thing for free near the runway. Haha. But cycling along that road was really demotivating! It is one really straight road. No beginning and no end. So horrid. I was cycling and cycling and cycling and wondering what my cycling will finally bring me to the other end. I got ambushed two FIRE ANTS at Changi. Boo the ants. I ate Maggi Goreng and Bryani in the end. I love Bryani because of the yoghurt.

You know, when I FINALLY finished the arse unfriendly ride, my legs did not function properly. They were like ~wobble~wobble~ Did not feel like my own legs. My arse did not thank me either. It was saying,''Are you crazy!!! Don't you know I am flat enough? You just had to go cycle me flatter!?'' Haha. This happened in my head of course.

I got a call today. For a job as a promoter for a roadshow. It was for 4 days so I was like, okay. But it is so boring! working in a roadshow in the CBD only means you are only catering to the working crowd who only come out from their crampy offices during lunch time and they totally ignore you during the evening when they are busy rushing home for their dinner. I had to stand there, bored and bored looking at people walk round and round and ignore me. Maybe I fail. I only managed to sell 2 boxes today. 2!!! The other girl sold like ten! Oh well...I came later....I am younger....I am inexperienced..... EXCUSES. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe being a promoter is not my cup of tea. D:

Gonna sleep now, ciao!

Rebecca:/

P.S. I think I will eat Komala's for lunch tomorrow. I FINALLY conquered my fear of eating alone. During non-peak/non-lunch hours anyway. Because I saw people eating alone too. #FAIL.

I give my first love to you review

Well, I always wanted to do a short recap for a drama. But knowing me, I will probably give up after episode one. But I really want to share this movie with you! It was really really good. Ahhhh. Best Japanese movie so far! Okay. Actually I have only watched 2 in my life. Paradise Kiss and this. But I think I am hooked. This was such a good and sad movie. Can compete with Grave of the fireflies in terms of sadness level.

Okay, so here are some of my favourite parts of the movie:

Mayu trying to get Takuma out of his pants. WHYYY? Haha. This scene was so cute. It got me hooked. 

Mayu was so devastated to hear that Takuma cannot live till 20 years of age that she went to find a four leaf clover to make a wish to the god of four leaf clover to allow them to be together and cure his disease. Awww. I melted. They made a promise to get married when they are 20.

Scene in the nurse office after Takuma got into a fight with the other students for pouring water on Mayu's shirt to see her bra. He was furious because they saw her bra before him and he was her boyfriend. Haha. When she was going to show him her bra, he got too nervous/excited that his chest hurts and Mayu said she is never going to show him anything. It is for his own good I guess. Later he get heart attack from excitement then how? Haha.

Takuma realises that his condition makes Mayu cry a lot so he thought that leaving her will make it easier for her when he dies so she will not be sad. He works very hard to get into a good school, Shido high school, a boarding school to get away from her. Mayu is supposedly not very smart. But on the first day of school at Shido, Mayu appears! Apparently, she studied even harder to get into the same school. Girl Power! She was even the top of the cohort! She uses her chance to speak on stage to lecture Takuma. Haha.

Takuma asks his doctor a.k.a Mayu's father how much exercise is he allowed in his condition. Sex? Haha. The doctor breaks the pen he was holding. Sex with who? His daughter? Wrong move Takuma. Now daddy knows what you are up to!

The scene where Takuma found out that Teru, a girl with the same illness as him was dead. Teru asked for a kiss from him the day before and he could not reject her because she was so sad, causing him get into a quarrel with Mayu. On the contrary, I am thankful he let Teru kiss him. She is such a poor thing D:

When I was watching this, I was like, such a jerk! He says he likes Mayu then after Takuma makes him give her up, he turns around and get another girlfriend! But then, just when I was thinking that, Kou got knocked down by the incoming train that he was unable to avoid. OMG. What a quick change in direction in storyline. I was shocked. I was like OH NO!!! I know what is going to happen! Takuma will get Kou's heart because he died! But YAY! There is a happy ending!

WRONG! He did not die! He was brain dead! And he had a organ donor card! Takuma was going to live! No! He had to tear, which caused his relatives to withdraw their donation of his heart because it looks like he was conscious in his unconsciousness! Oh no! Takuma also refuses to go with the operation because he found out that it was Kou's heart. Awww. I was crying at this point of time. My nose was blocked! Wahhh.
Why the movie have to be so sad!

Takuma nearly died. But in his dead but not dead status, he prays for a little for time to give Mayu happiness. They go for their ''honeymoon'' at the amusement park. At the end of the day, Mayu was happy and asked to do that again next time. That was when he dropped the bomb. THERE IS NO NEXT TIME! Ahhhh! He is dying. I was wondering....how about his parents? But, once they got back to the hospital and Takuma's mom slapped her for being so unthoughtful, I was like, but that was what he wanted! Why you slap Mayu! Boo mom!

Takuma DIED. Before his death, he passed Mayu his good luck charm a.k.a the will he wrote when he was eight. Mayu opens up the will. AWWWW. He wrote for everyone to be happy even after he was gone. My heart broke! Such a thoughtful guy! Got four leaf clover some more! He was really sincere! Ahhhh.

This is the weird part. Mayu holds Takuma's ashes, getting married?/faking marriage? Ahhh. But it was so sweet of her.

I really like this movie. AHHH. Nice. very nice. The plot was such that it gave me false hopes before making me cry like a crybaby. It has enough humour and happiness in it to prevent a tragic story. The love story of a pair of lovers not meant to be. Ahhh.

Made me so sad. Do catch the movie or the DVD! Trust me, it is worth it.

Ciao!

Rebecca :'(

German's walking tour! 310312

Well...I know that the Germans have gone back now and yada yada, I should have blogged about this sooner but knowing the lazy me.... Sigh. So today I thought I ought to record this down before I forget all about what we did on the 31 March 2012. Okay, actually I am backdating this because I feel like blogging a lot today, so I am gonna separate it so that it will not appear on the same day #cheat

Sooo...it was the fateful day I brought the Germans out together with Josephine and Ain. We met at the train station at (supposedly) 0900 but everyone turned out to be late with me being the earliest at 0920. HAHA. It is good to have friends who are always late so no one has to feel bad when they are late. We went to NACLI and saw that the Germans have finished their breakfast and were waiting for us. There were whisperings when we got in. It turned out that Mrs D told the students to wear non sleeveless and long pants because we were going to the temple that was more conservative(Tooth temple) but Josephine and I were wearing shorts so they were wondering why. Oh well. It turned out that we were not going to the tooth temple. Just Thian Hock Keng Temple and that temple do not really care what you wear so haha they wore their sleeved tops and long pants/skirts for nothing.

The first thing on the list was calligraphy. IT was quite hilarious looking at the Germans write their names. It turned out that I was the only one who learnt calligraphy before so I ended up telling them how to hold the brush etc etc. It was quite fun translating their names for them. I did not even know how to read some of the words. Luckily, Ain had the foresight to google the han yu pin yin before the day itself. I roughly translated their names for them. It was a good start. This year's batch was much friendlier than last year's. Maybe it was the age gap-___- They were mostly 15, 16 year olds. Only 2 guys and 13 girls and 2 teachers.

We went to Thian Hock Keng Temple next. Josephine did the tour-guiding thingie. She is good. I think she totally memorised whatever facts about the temple there is already although I thought differently at some parts of the tour. I always thought it was left leg into the temple first because our left represents the heavens and the right represents us. Oh well. This batch of students did not look bored at all and asked many questions. This was different from the previous batch. I am glad. They are seriously interested in our culture.

We had a l walk after that to Chinatown where we visited the Indian temple and had lunch. Ain was the first one to do the henna and some of the Germans followed suit. I have never done henna before. It is pretty, but I do not really like the idea of staining my skin. Oh well. We gave them 2 boxes of Durians for them to try after lunch. Their expressions were pretty much the same when they tasted it. Only about 4 were like, "It is okay." Everyone took one nibble and they do not like the king of the fruits! Their faces were like >.< Eeew! Haha.

We took a train to Little India and were sort of at a loss of where to go there. Turned out that none of us knew Little India well. But I suggested a detour around Little India before going to Kampong Glam. I think the walk took the energy out of all of us because the sun was scorching and I was melting and everyone was complaining. Tough. We went past Thieves market and I sort of gave a brief introduction based on what Shabira told me. Because it was her PW project. Thanks Sha! Haha. Frankly speaking, it was my first time walking around Little India too. But I led the way and we did not get lost. HAHAHA. I love my sense of direction. It hardly ever failed me:)

Ain took over in Kampong Glam, explaining about the Mosque and we split up into group to teach them about the traditional games. We had Snap, Five stones and Chapteh. I was in charge of Snap. Looks like my game was the most boring-.- They knew how to play the game. They mentioned that it was similar to a game call Harigan(???) in Germany. Oh well. Like the yesteryears, they liked the bubble thingie and bought quite a lot of it to bring home. Haha.

We then proceeded to Bugis where I went with Josephine to Bugis. She wanted to buy a Iphone cover. We got a pretty black rose one at $16(original price was $18 but I bargained! Awesomeness!) We ate yummy crepe on the second level and it was time to meet the Germans again. Looks like most of them were already very tired and they did not buy much things(unlike last year's batch)

Two girls had to go back to NACLI because someone was not feeling well. Poor girl looked as if she was hurting really badly D:

We went to Holland Village next and we saw Li Wei there. She is in SMU now :/ Oh well. There, Ain met her boyfriend and they decided to go to a hotel to rest for an hour (I am sure they were just kidding)  while Li Wei, Josephine and myself went to find food. That was when my headache got worse and I lost my appetite. Josephine went to Breeko Cafe and we talked. I was not feeling very good. A little dizzy and stuff. We went to Daily Scoop to get ice cream. I got the yummy honey vanilla but I could not keep the ice-cream down. I could feel bile coming up my throat. I tried to go to the toilet to puke, but nothing came up so I went out again and dumped my ice-cream D: We took pictures, but then by then I was REALLY not feeling very good. Bile was coming up every few minutes. I forced it down. I was miserable. Li Wei went back and I walked back to NACLI with the Germans. On the way, I felt utterly unwell. I think this happened because I did not sleep enough the previous night? I don't know, maybe it was a case of bad luck. BOO. Ruined my night!

When we reached NACLI, I could not take it anymore. I pretended that my phone rang and walked to one side, trying to find the toilet. But the toilet was next to where all the Germans were! I knew the puke was going to come up whether I wanted it to or not, so I took out the bottle of water I bought along the way and puked into it. EWWW. Massive EWW. Thank god I found a bin and a sink and a water cooler to clean up. Thank god I did not puke on myself. Ewww. But I felt much better after that and went to join the Germans again. I missed out a lot D: Apparently someone sang and some of them had gone back to their rooms already. I was so sad. But better to have missed it than puked in front of everyone. I said farewell to the teachers and left. The teachers are always so nice! Mrs D always have gifts for us at the end of the tour! We split them up between us.

So sweet! 

A letter from Mr Something. I never remembered his name though it was his second time here. He wrote this  before the tour. I know this because Rohaida was not there. Haha. I did not want to use this picture with my hairy thigh in it, but it was the clearest -.- His smiley reminds me of Lynette. Random fact of the day. Haha.

Stuff from Mrs D!

I got this from Mrs D! I have not tried anything yet but I really like the butterfly letter paper plus envelope. It looks very useful for the future. Haha. Blood orange candy, what looks like digestive biscuits, sugar-free mints and keychain(?) from Berlin Film Festival. I asked for the recycle bag that was used to carry the stuff too! Haha. It looked useful. I like to take recycle bags! Weird right. It does not hurt my hands or the environment as much as plastic bags. I am a green girl!

At times like this, I always feel that I want to do this again and again. It was very fun showing them parts of Singapore and sharing our culture with them. It was great opening up whatever Mrs D got for us. But I really do not know if I will do this any more. Maybe this is my last year doing this. I really enjoy doing this though. I wished there is a platform for me to volunteer myself as a more informal tour guide for foreigners. Sigh. I like planning this kind of stuff, but I do not like the idea of being a tour guide because it becomes a job instead of a hobby. Oh well. I hope that more chances will come in the future when I get into university. I like to host people. I try my best to get into as many as possible. That's why I volunteered for the Japanese one in SAJC. Ahhh. Experiences like these are hard to come by.

This is a really long post but I am done now! Ciao!

Rebecca:)

Been thinking too much, I hope.

Well, it is definitely going to be a long wordy post today. Today, I had a lot of time to think when I was out going to SMU to submit my application. I had a lot to think about actually. Not all because I met two of my ex-classmates but this was the main reason. Okay. I am going to remove to the blog on my twitter now. Just in case people see the blog and get offended. Actually, no. There is nothing to get offended about. Okay. Going to start now.....ahem.

I saw two of my classmates from secondary school today. Not going to put names here, because it would serve no purpose.

When I saw one of them on the train, I stared a little harder. My eyes seemed to have deteriorated lately so I squinted my eyes. Yup, quite positive it was my classmate. She stared at me, but did not smile. I was wondering...maybe she did not recognise me. Alright. Going up the escalator, I walked up to them.

"Hi! I haven't seen you in a longgg time."

Awkward silence.

Then, "Oh, I thought I saw you on the train, but I was not sure."

I was pretty sure she did recognise me. I do not change much.

"Oh...so where did you go after 'O's? You went to a JC right?" The other classmate said. The tone used was not very nice. I sort of got the "I am inferior" vibes although I did better than them. Okayyy.

So I said the truth," Hmmm. I went to SAJC. I repeated a year, so I am only applying for Uni now."

Silence.

Change of topic. She asked the other classmate about a movie. I felt as though they did not want me there. So weird.

The thing is, we were classmates and we got along well. Why did they treat me like a stranger? A smile would have been enough. Catching up was good. But this? Is this courtesy? It was not very nice of them.

I do not know. Does time make people so cold towards each other? You know, when I see my schoolmates or classmates, old or new, I would definitely be very happy to see them and give them a hug or something. Unless, I just happen to look very unglamorous. Then I would wish to dig myself a hole and hide. But that's beside the point. Why so unfriendly? I was just saying hi? I am pretty sure I never offended them.

Ah whatever. I should not let it affect me. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. I am not Christian, But I do believe in this strongly. That's why I try not to be mean to others even if I do not really like them. If I do not like them, it is my business. But they do not deserve to be treated meanly. Oh well. I guess people are really different.

Another incident was a little closer to my heart.

It is regarding the German Exchange Programme. To be honest, I am very very thankful that Josephine invited me over to join them tomorrow. However, the thing is, I am often confused about my role in this event. Am I just someone to help out or one of the organisers? I highly think I am meant to be the former. Maybe it was just a courtesy? I don't know. But I did not know about anything about the tour:/ It is very difficult for me to help out. I sort of understand the feeling some people get when someone asks you for a favour and you want to do it all by yourself. I know, because I get the feeling too. But I was really willing to help. D: I am a little upset that I was not given any role but be a follower.

To be frank, I did not enjoy welcoming the Germans to Singapore at the airport. Firstly, I was not very close to Mrs D. Although I am really thankful to her for always inviting me to join them in whatever they had previously. I did not exchange emails with her regularly. I am not close to her. I did not have any idea what to do but to follow. I was lost. I do not like the feeling actually. But the worst feeling was when I saw the booklet without my name in it. I was very sad when I saw the draft on Facebook. You did not give me a chance to help. But allowed me to tag along. I don't know what to feel. Maybe I should have said I was busy.

I don't know if Josephine ever reads this blog but Josephine, if you do chance upon this post don't get offended okay! I still love you <3 but I cannot help what I feel. I am really thankful that you invited me along:) I hope that later will be a blast! Because I think this will definitely be my last time helping out.

No mood, no inspiration D:

Well, as you can tell from the title, I have been a very miserable person lately. I haven't had the mood to knit, crochet, sew or draw for quite some time. I don't know why. Furthermore, I have been eating more food that I do not usually eat like candy, meat, snacks and all the unhealthy stuff. I can even feel myself getting fatter. It is so disgusting. I even craved meat, chicken and rice! HOW WEIRD IS THAT? I realised that I was thinking if other food even when I am eating and I started eating more and more. Sucks!

I have to take action. I can going on a boot camp. Tomorrow evening, I shall go down to the park to jog by myself. No more staying home, doing nothing. It is affecting my mood and my creative juices. Which sucks real time. I am bored, I finished watching all the nice dramas and I am in a terrible state. Something needs to be done. No more candy, chocolates and bad carbohydrates for me. I am going on a healthy diet. Gonna eat udon and that's all for the day. Night is another matter. I need to get back to my normal self.

Is it because I am depressed? Or worried for university admission. Grrr. This better stop. My health is more important!

Rebecca D:

Moving on!

Well...I have decided not to dwell on my stupid results anymore! I am moving on! It was not easy but I had to do it. I have to move on. After consulting my tutor, she was very encouraging(Thanks Pey.) I finally know what I have to do. I have to look and think forward. The next step requires a lot of determination, skills and PUBLIC RELATIONS. Haha. Yes. PR. I must do this and do this well.

I have better things to think of. Like....I have opened my new blogshop Handmade L'Amour. Do visit:) I did a lot of things which I enjoy, such as making more earrings and bows and thought about it long and hard(like a lady boss)

Like a lady boss indeed.

I have decided. I will do my best for the next part of whatever I am gonna do. Pray very hard that it will be a success. If it is, I will tell you what it is. 

Some pictures I took of all the crafty things that has been going on in my life lately.

Earrings, I am proud of myself!

Love the drawers. Haha. 

I emptied out a space in my wardrobe for this. Nice right? The drawers I mean:) It contains all my barbie clothes!

Another kind of bow. I think this is not as pretty though:/

Stuff Shabira got for me from UK!!! LOVE. 

Guess what finally arrived?

The nail polishes arrived safe and sound. Safely wrapped in bubble wrap. Haha. Ugly wrapping though:p

Look! 23 bottles in all!

Everything arranged in order, whose is what yada yada:p

Josephine bought so many bottlessss. Haha. Some of them still owe me money!!! Need to collect soon. My bank has no money:(

That's all for today. I aim to do some sewing tomorrow. At the same time, draft my essay. GOGOGO Rebecca!!!:) Ciao everybody!

Rebecca:) Happier today. Que Sera Sera!

I need to get over it and move on.

God, help me. I need to stop tearing whenever anyone mentions my results. I need to be strong. I need to take whatever I have and move on. I know I may not be the most hardworking person in the world, may not be the cleverest, but I really want to do well for myself and make everyone proud of me.

Will you give me the strength and energy to move on? Please?

Rebecca

Que sera sera.

Well...oh my god, I am only starting to write this post and I am already tearing. I guess I am really not as brave as I thought I was.

I got back my results today.

I feel really detached from all these, as though I can just pretend it did not happen and everything is fine. But deep inside, I am really helpless. For the first time in my life, I am completely lost and there is really no one who can guide me anymore. There is no back up plan, nothing. 

In my phone, I have several text messages from friends asking me if I was okay, and I haven't replied them yet. Initially, it was because my phone did not have any battery left. But now I am at home and the phone is plugged in, I realized it was just an excuse. I do not want to reply them, because I do not know how. Am I okay? Well, I definitely did my best. But I cannot deny the fact that I expected more from myself. I wanted me to be better then others. I am competitive that way. I do not show it, but I am definitely thinking it. I am sincerely glad that the rest have done well. It was obvious that they put in a lot of effort. I guess my best was not their best. I did give up a lot of things during the period. I did work the hardest I ever had in my life, so I really have no regrets. What I do feel is sadness. Sadness that no matter what I did, I did not get the pleasant surprise that I wanted. 

My parents are really nice. They did not say or do anything mean. They knew I did my best. But I really wish I was better at all this studying. Thank god I quit my job. If I were to go to work tomorrow, no telling what I would do. Probably burst into tears if I stop doing anything. I am such a crybaby. I should just stop thinking. Life goes on.

I was just looking at the grade profiles of all the universities. I don't know if I can go anywhere? I am truly terrified. Having a horrible headache and peeling my yellow nail polish off my middle finger because it is really ugly.

I find myself wanting assurance that I did not do very badly at all, but I know I did. It was not good results. You know, a thought just came into my head. If you think I am just ranting and giving excuses for my results, you ought to stop reading. Because I need to get this all out. I really do not have a best friend that I can pour my sorrows out to so I am just writing it here so that I will not forget how I felt at this point of time in my life.

What I really want is to just do what enjoy, my passion. I just hope that wherever I get into, I like it and I do it well. 

All the best to me. If you read the entire thing, thank you. At least I know I have some listening eyes somewhere in the world:/

I really cannot bring myself to smile. I put spoons in the freezer just now. Going to test out the internet method of reducing swollen eyes. Haha. ( Is it just me? Or am I just as laughable even when I am sad? Maybe I should just be a stand up comedian. Boo.)

Ciao. 

Rebecca:/

New chapter of my working life.

Well..I haven't been updating this poor blog lately. I have been so busy with work, I wonder where did all my time go! Of course I accomplished many things and I am gonna tell them to you one by one! Haha. Hope you do not get bored

I tendered my resignation for the job I was at. After complaining about the job, at the same time enjoying it, I resigned. However, unlike what many others may think, it is really not because I do not like the job. I enjoy talking, so  much that even though I work in a call centre, I can still go home and talk some more. This is totally how much I love talking. Haha. The main reason was because I do not want/do not have the courage to go back to work after getting my results. I do not know what I am getting tomorrow. I am not even really thinking about it. I have done my best. this is the maximum I can go without breaking. In economics terms, I am operating on the PPC. If I were to do better, I would first need to shift my curve outwards. Haha. I ought to anyway but alas. 

I have decided to buy the coupon for the 2 years unlimited QPX sessions. I heard of it from Qiu Qiu's blog at first and I have been really thinking about going for it ever since. I am really not a ''I like hairy people'' kind of person. Nope. No facial/excessive hair for me. I was seriously procrastinating. This is the second time I saw the offer on Deal.com.sg and I bought it. Yay for me.  I did mention it to my mum several times but she did it was up to me, so ta-ta! I am going to kill my hair follicles and hope they stay dead.  

I have some pictures in my phone that I took and wanna show it here, but I AM TOO LAZYYY. Damn. Next post, I promise.

Pleaseepleaseeepleaseee make tomorrow a good day. I pray.

That's all. Please cross your fingers for me. I am officially terrified. Ciao.

Rebecca:/ 

Really miserable due to my own weakness.

Well, this is gonna be a real suckish emo post so don't expect anything fluffy from this.

I AM REALLY MISERABLE AT WORK D:

The worst thing is, this is completely not due to anything but myself.

AHHH. I totally have monophobia. I always have this fear of being alone in a new place, without people I know. I think this was probably why I decided to join the company I am working at now. However, even though I am in a company where I know people, we do not share the same lunch break and I always have this bad feeling that I would not have any lunch partners and I will be alone and hungry. I am really angry at myself for feeling like that. I know I should become more independent and depend more on myself instead of others for support. But I am really really bad at this. I feel like breaking down at the thought of having lunch alone or with people I don't even know all that well. The awkward sliences, the side glances, oh my god. It is too much. I feel so inapt to deal with the loneliness I feel.

Even when doing some steps for work, I always feel unsure of myself and tend to ask damn lot of questions. I get so irritated with myself. I know I should be more independent and do stuff myself, but I just cannot seem to help it. I think I talk to myself too many times during work. Even though I am talking to the customers all the time.

I have always taken pride in being brave. I was always the first or one of the first to volunteer for blood donations and roller coaster rides. I admit, I like proving to myself that I can do stuff that most others do not dare. But in this case I am really unprepared to be alone all by myself. Not the perfect Girl Guide I am supposed to be

I just realised that working life is really different from school. Even though I may seem to be good friends with my colleagues now, but eventually, I am not as close to them as I thought I was. They have their own friends, closer friends that have been friends with them for a longer period of time than I have.

I always thought it would  be better to know more people and have more friends. They need not be very close friends, but at least we are still friends and we can talk about anything under the sun. I feel that I am very wrong. I feel as though I am close to everyone but no one is close to me. I open up myself to everyone, I am really open and is quite willing to talk about myself all the time(unfortunately) But when I really need someone to talk to, I realize that I don't really have anyone. It is really sad. I don't think people actually know who I really am inside inside deep inside.

I really don't want to think about this. It is really making me more miserable and upset than I should be but it just happens! I get so miserable. AHHHHH! I just feel like sinking into my shell and be anti-social.

The thing is, I know I can hide for a while, but I cannot do that forever because I am dependent on others. Other people's opinions, their approval and just being around people.

I should really start being more independent. As a 19 year old, I am not young anymore! But so what? I still feel like I am twelve inside. I am feeling so miserable and I have no idea what I should do. I also know that changing a job is not going to help much. The pay will be lower and I become just as lonely. What to do? I am really feeling quite horrible. I just feel like breaking down over this small matter. I should be stronger. Why am I not stronger? I am so angry and upset at myself. I should be more self-sufficient.

Why am I not as strong as I wanna be?  D:

Rebecca :'(

I broke my presser foot:,(

AHHHH! I broke my presser foot for the overcasting stitch. Silly am I. So silly. I forgot to change the stitch before I press the pedal. Then the machine went 'beep beep beep' ERROR ERROR ERROR. Ah. Now I have to go to a faraway place to get a replacement. SIAN. Whatever la. I am gonna make my skirt soon. I wanna make my skirt soon. I don't wanna procrastinate anymore. Ahh. Help me do that. I am just so lazy to clear my stuff so I can put my machine on the table. Lazy bum am I. I need to be more hardworkinggg.

Work had been sort of fun. I picked up calls for the first time yesterday. It was interesting. I hope it continues to be interesting for the next 6 months. I want to earn money! I still have not gotten my first pay transferred into my bank, but I am really excited. I hope they do it soon.

I am also loving my PINK contact lens I got from Deal.com.sg last December. I got the Blincon one! PINK in colour! God, I just realised it is a Malaysian brand! It is really comfy to wear. The previous one(I forgot the brand) was sort of uncomfortable. I could not bear to remove my contacts at the end of the day. Haha. This is the first time wearing circle lenses. At first, I thought I looked a little like an alien. I got used to it in a while. Now, I am loving it. Ahhh. I want more! Can someone give me a promotion again? It costed me $15.90 which I thought was really reasonable. I love it. I wanna try green or blue coloured lenses next time. Hai. I wish I have more occasions to wear it though. Wearing it to work seem so...vain. But I like the lenses so much! I think I look funny staring at my eyes in the mirror at home because I love it so much. Haha. *eye fetish alert* What to do?

I finally gave my friends their stuff. I do hope they like it! I am trying to think of better ways to make it and I hope they don't mind the imperfections. I am really lazy to send the picture from my phine to my computer so I shan't post the picture. Haha. Lazy bum. I think I made 4 in total. It was quite tiring. I really wish to have a knitting session at my house one day. Haha. I think that would be real cool! I think I will make a bow out of the same fabric as my skirt for myself. Haha. Maybe a pencil case too. I bought 3 metres of that fabric. That's why.

Okay, that's all for today, I just wanted to update. Ciao!

Rebecca:)

Experiencing China.

Well...I know I should have done this a while ago, but I wanted my pictures to look nice and that takes time. Well, Shanghai will be on one of my most unforgettable trips overseas. It was the first trip out with my grandparents without my godmother. Since my godmother was usually the one who was in charge of my grandma's toilet duty, without her around, the duty naturally became mine. I am not complaining about the difficulties I faced during the trip. But those difficulties made me stronger and helped me understand that I am indeed quite awesome. Haha. I am not boasting. I think I can survive working in a old folk's home.

Haha. We followed a tour agency and I must say that I was pretty impressed because all the hotels had five stars and they were all clean and big. We arrived at Shanghai, then moved on to Suzhou, Hangzhou, Nanjing, Wuxi then back to Shanghai. I have to say that I enjoyed myself because I did not expect to do so. Of course, I also saw some things I will never forget. I will tell you about them later. I did not take many pictures, only about 200+ for the entire trip. This was because the camera was with me and I was too lazy/my hands were too chilled for me to take pictures. Haha. Okay, on with the programme. I will get be touching on each area I went and the most exciting experience I remember I had over at that side.

Once we touched down in Shanghai, we went on our way to Suzhou. We had our lunch there at this interesting restaurant. Here's my favorite dish!

What do you call this? Heh heh. I do not know what is it called. It was made of beancurd and it had a very interesting texture which I really enjoyed. It was served as an appetizer and I feel that that was the most delicious dish of the lot because the rest were to heavily seasoned for my taste. This was also the place when I had to bring my grandma to the squatting toilet. It was not easy, but my cousin and I did it. We bought silk in Suzhou and yup, I will be using a silk pillow with silkworm's poop for the new year. Haha. By the way, did you know that the silkworm's poop is actually Chinese medicine? It has many benefits! I did not know that too. The poop is also made into tea! Haha. Indeed, the poop smells like tea.

Corn Ice-cream

The best thing in Suzhou was this corn ice-cream. It was nicer than the thingie above. It was cheap too! 2 yuan. That's about 40 Singapore cents? Yum yum. I love corn.

That's all for Suzhou. Hangzhou was a nice place. I can say it is sort of comparable to Singapore! The streets are clean, the food was not very salty and there are trees almost everywhere. Hangzhou is where they grow Longjing tea, by the way. I love the tea. It is a kind of green tea that sort of smells like seaweed and has a pleasant taste. I love Chinese teaaa! It used to be for emperors only. It is healthy as it sucks up all the oil when you eat food. I know not how or why, but it is like...magic. Haha. It was duper expensive though. about $240 per box of tea. We also bought tea polyphenol, which was supposedly the essence of the tea so it is even better. Haha. I hope it can absorb all my fats from my body!

very nice but crooked view on the Xihu lake

Garden decorations

The view is really nice huh? There is more where that came from in Hangzhou. OMG. I sound like I am promoting the place-.- but it was really nice. Other than the food that is. I am really not good at adapting to their food.

Next we went to Nanjing. The food there was saltyyyy! Apparently, the people there consume a lot of salt.*Hypertension alert* Haha. I no like salt. There was this place where the food was not bad though. The island area. the ginger chicken was very nice! That is considering that I do not like chicken OR ginger. It was really nice. The only picture I have for the place is one of my brother and I. Somehow, all my nice pictures seem to be taken with him. Sian.

Gosh, why is my face sooo big.

Haha One picture of us is what I have for Nanjing. Not much but I think the lighting was nice.

Next up was Wuxi. It was okay...but the shopping was shiok because we had our hotel next to a shopping centre! I like. There is this san guo cheng where they filmed Romace of the Three Kingdoms. It was quite nice, but too commercialized for my liking.

Lastly, we went to Shanghai! Yay. Even though I did not like the food, I thought the roasted chestnuts were amazing. Sweet and warm. Do not get ripped off though.

This was the famous Xiao Long Bao!!!

Looks good? Heh heh. I think lt was okay only. Still prefer Singapore's Xiao Long Bao. The skin is thinner. Ahhh.The egg soup behind is bland and not tasty. I wonder why it was 'wowed' over.

Okay. That's actually all the pictures I edited. Tough job you know? Haha. Anyway, at this point of time I have a mini disclaimer! This post is super biased in terms of the food. I am really quite particular about the kinds of food I like to eat so what may be too salty to me can be just prefect for you. Therefore, please do not use this post as a guide to find out what to eat in Shanghai. Do try the Xiao long bao and if you like it, good for you:) The Xiao long bao is definitely cheaper there.

Shopping! Shopping is also definitely cheaper there! I like to look at the weird stuff. Take a walk along the local markets. What you see there might surprise you as it had me. I saw how they killed poultry! A little painful, but so many people loves eating chicken, someone has to kill them somehow right? The reality of life:/ Toilets takes some getting used to, but I survived without stepping foot into any longkang toilets. Keypoint: NEW shopping centres. Haha.

If you are going to Shanghai anytime soon, I wish you a pleasant experince:) That's all for today, I finally got this up. Ciao!

Rebecca:p

Clothes for my baby doll.

Well...I finally started using my sewing machine! Whoa! I am so happy and proud of myself too. Today, I made 2 great achievements! First, I made my first ever knitted bow. Then, I made my first lining and HANDSEWED it onto my crocheted pencil case which was made eons ago. Wanna know how long is that? Look at this!

I finished it when I was still using littlecrochetsecrets which was last last year! Haha. It still looks like this. Just with black lining and black zipper because my brother is a guy. I initially wanted to get this for his birthday. I mean make. But I did not know how to use my mom's sewing machine, so I delayed the lining making because I hate to hand sew. Haha. I finally finished it. I hand-sewed the lining a little crooked due to my inexperience, but I am still proud of it overall because... it looks like it was bought! Haha. So happy. This is item number one. 

I also finished making my first ever knitted bow which I am gonna give to Syahirah. I sort of held an auction on Twitter to see who wanted it. She said yes first! Haha. So she got it! this goes!

Nice or not? :P

Hehe. The band is very small because I thought it would be better:/ I just need to wrap the band once around my hair to tie it not too tightly. I hope she will like it:)

I also made a dress and beret for my baby doll earlier this week. Heh heh. I did not know my doll's head is so big, it made the beret look like a showercap! Haha. This week was full of many firsts! This is the picture. Is is not perfect because this was my first try, but I plan to make a life sized one soon! A DRESS. Using sewing patterns la. Haha. If you are wondering what was the la for, it is a sort of like the Singaporean slang. Without further ado, presenting...BABY DOLL!

 Haha. I just realised her clothes matches her blue eyes! Not bad(Y) Looks like I have talent! 

I am going to reconstruct my old sleeve now to made something....Another doll's clothes? Hmm. I am excited. 

That's all for today! Ciao!

Rebecca:);)B)

NO LONGER UNEMPLOYED!!!

Well...WOOHOO!!! I am officially no longer unemployed! Well...not officially official till tomorrow when I sign the contract but oh well. I am excited and scared! Ahhh. I have no words to describe my feelings now. It feels a little like when Freya and Rachel sang me the birthday song. Speechless, excited and amazed. I am not foreverunwanted after all! Sigh. After all this while. Today was a very exciting day, I guess. At first, I planned to go out with my godmother to bring my grandparents to the hair salon, car repair shop and electronics store. Then, at 10 plus am , I got a phone call for an interview for later in the day. So I went for lunch with my godmother and forgo-ed the rest. I felt bad that I did not help her so I said that I would treat her to lunch if I get this job. After the interview, I got two more calls from another two companies. I scheduled interview appointments because I was afraid I would not get this job.

Half hour ago, I got the phone call from the interviewer today. I GOT THE JOB. Haha. Dilemma!!! What to do? How about the two other job interviews I scheduled tomorrow? So scary. What if they had a bad impression of me? Which company to choose? What to do? What to do? WHAT TO DO? Then after much consideration, I decided to just go for the one that I went for interview for today. I hate making decisions. But I hope I would not regret this. I am gonna sign the contract tomorrow. I am excited and afraid. What lies ahead of me, I don't know. But what I know is....I am not gonna be broke anymore. YAY!

So, I am not going to have so much time on my hands anymore. I just hope that I do my best and leave a good impression on the employer. Wish me all the best! I am not going to have time to blog so much anymore. Sigh. Not like I blog mega lots anyway. Haha. Oh well.

                      "Life's like that, ain't it. You gonna give and take or you get nothing at all. " -Rebecca<3

Haha. Jingli said that everything I said this year seem to be wise words on the first day of January. Haha. 

Okay. I was going to edit all my photos from Shanghai and tell you all about my first experience in mainland China. So stay tuned if you are interested!

That's all for today! Ciao! 

Rebecca <3

Craft update!

Well, I can finally update on what I did because I finally finished it! I finished my veryveryvery first lace crochet project. It took a while and me undoing my mistakes because I did not completely understand the instructions. It was tedious beyond tedious. I did the lace based on this tutorial. Maybe it was because it was my first time so I was not used to the hook, but it kept poking into my thumb in the area where the nail meets the flesh. Haha. I put tape over it to protect my thumb. This was the results! Nice or not? Heh heh! I am sososo proud of it!

Edited with Mei tu xiu xiu

Did I mention that I love my phone? It allows me to edit the photos with nice applications like Mei Tu Xiu Xiu which is in Chinese. It is amazing. It saves me the hassle of photoshopping the picture and it has special effects too! Noticed the blurrr? Haha. It is a stroke of genius I tell you. Of course, this only applies if the person editing the picture is awesome! Lovelovelove my lace. Time to buy fabric stiffener to make it into the lace bowl it is supposed to be! 

I also went to Plaza Singapura to repair my mom's phone. At the same time, we went to Spotlight and Daiso. I agreed to make a scarf for my auntie and I needed more yarn for my ongoing project(which is taking FOREVER) Haha. So I got this!

I did not get the sole sap sheet! My brother did.

Haha. I got three balls of brown yarn at $4.50 each, the chiffon yarn and the buttons at Daiso for $2. I could not resist the buttons. They were sososo cute! My brother got the sole sap sheet for himself and I. Haha. It was supposed to make you feel more refreshed, but I felt no difference. I wonder how it works. Was it a scam? :/

 Oh well. I will update more soon! That's all for today!

Rebecca:)

Employed as a houselady aka still unemployed.

Well...I am still unemployed. People do not wanna employ me because I will be going to Shanghai next week. So I have decided to just stop looking for any jobs till the 3rd of Janurary, when all the office reopen from the new year. I just realised I am officially into the 2nd week of my FREEDOM! Haha. Oh well. I have been BUSY!

I went out with my ex-classmates the day before my birthday and they gave me a surprise. :D We were at Soup Spoon when Michelle whipped out a box of macaroons. I was like WOW. Totally blown off my feet. I was so surprised because I did not expect anything. No one celebrates my birthday in school you know? Haha. The thing about being born in December. They knew that I do not eat cake so they got macaroons instead. Sweet surprise. We walked along Orchard road and I also got freebies!!! Haha. You can see the cheapo in me shining though me! I got Ricola candies, The Body Shop sample and a CANDY CANE! Highlight to see the whole word! It made me a real happy girl. Shabira went on a nail polish spree! She bought 6 bottles of China Glaze nail polish for $40 at a spree. All glittery and stuff. Not really my thing though. I do not mind shimmery, but glittery is a little overwhelming. Anyway, we went to McDonald's for a seat and Jing Li and Michelle tried on the colours. Haha. This is Jing Li's hand!

I like the gold, pink, purple and green!

That was the end of the day before my 19th brithday. On the day on my 19th birthday......I did spring cleaning of the storeroom. Haha. What a bummer. We ate.....noodles and egg. Haha. Another bummer! The main highlight of my day was that Freya and Rachel called my on my mobile and sang 'Happy Birthday'. It had been sososo long since I heard their voices. If I am not wrong, We last met during December last year. So it was a shock. I was overwhelmed. If I had to describe the feeling I felt, it was gooey and so sweet it feels like it is gonna give you diabetes. Haha. I was so shocked, I was in a daze for the rest of the conservation(which also meant I did not really hear what they were saying...the fact that their voices were a tad muffled due to the speaker did not help.) I hope they never read this. I am really grateful to have such wonderful friends.

The day after my birthday, I met up with Rachel. We went to the udon place for lunch(I shortlisted the udon and western place for her to choose, but I was secretly hoping that she would choose udon. She did. Yay for happy tummy!) The udon was good, I love udon. I liked the soup, but it was a little too savoury so I did not slurp it all up. Usually I would. Haha. I have been eating udon for lunch once every two days and I am not sick of it yet. This shows you how deep my love for udon is. After lunch, we sort of just wandered around. We got ice-cream at marble-slab so we can seat down and talk. Frankly...I do not like their ice-cream. It was a waste of my $4.50 if you ask me. I ordered blackberry because it seemed like it was the most popular...the tub was almost empty. But the ice-cream hardly had any berry taste, was too milky and too sweet. You shall not cheat my money again! We had a longgg talk. It has been a whileee. Rachel tells me to join USP. But I am hesitant because I know I am not as smart as her academically and I know I will feel horribly inferior to people in the USP. They are all the cream of the creams. Furthermore, I do not even know my results yet. My heart skips a beat at the thought of my results anyway. I will be happy if I can just get into FASS Political Science and take an extra module for French or something. Haha. I totally forgot the time while we were talking. I had to leave after a long talk for dinner.

My family had dinner at Feast@East at the hotel next to Paramount Hotel opposite Parkway Parade. It was good I guess. It was too tedious to keep ordering salmon sashimi to eat so I stopped after 4?5?6? servings. Greedy much? I know. I had 7 oysters. I did not eat as much because it was not veryvery nice. But, I loved their laska. Haha. The noodles were super QQ! Loved it. That was all I remembered from the buffet. Oh. And my cousins kept grabbing rabbit sweets from the jar. Haha. You can buy the candies in the supermarket for $2+ per packet but they took it from a buffet that served other goodies. Haha.

Well. It has been a longgg post, recounting on what I have been doing. I will be exploring Chinatown tomorrow. I am pretty excited to go exploring with Freya and Rachel. I hope that we will not get lost even with my amazing sense of direction. HAHA. Exciteddd. That's all folks.

Rebecca:D

Pinterest and other stuffs.

Well, woohoo! I have finally gotten an invite into Pinterest! Haha! I have an account in Pinterest finally! I had been quite interested in it because it is sort of like tumblr, but it is much easier to use:) This is my account! You can take a look at it if you wanna. It is sorta cool to be in Pinterest, because you need an invite to get in. I asked for an invite, and I think I waited for quite a while before they sent me an invite! :D I will pin stuff that I see and like:)

I have been doing lotsa stuff! Ever since my exams, I have been crafting and crafting and watching a hell lot of dramas! Hehe! Super shiok! I will definitely  post up all the projects that I do here! This is just a short update. I am not gone, just crafting!

I finished a scarf in two days, I am uber proud of myself! This goes!

Yupyup, this is my favourite bedsheet of Ariel! Okay! Look at the scarf! Fluffy and cheap because I bought the yarn from Daiso! However, maybe because it is cheap, the small maomao will come off when you pull it.

Yupyup. That's all for today! I cannot wait to show you what I have been doing!

Rebecca:D

Craft shopping!

Well, before my last paper, I got onto Sophie and Toffee's website to shop as I wanted to make use of their 25% off all purchases and I splurged. I had a budget of $50 and I managed to compress it to $46+ Thank god. I feel sorry for my bank. This is the first time I spent so much online. Of course it is not considered a lot but I am a poor unemployed (not a student anymore) okay! EVERY cent counts:) Pictures below!

Package!

I was so excited when I saw this in the mail. I was hopping like a bunny.

I am really happy with the triangular tray. No more spilling of rhinestones when I pour it back into the container:)

flowers!

I bought most of these cabochons with the intention of making them into earrings for my friends but the peach coloured ones are obviously too big, so I have to think of something else for it.

Earrings to be:)

 I went to Spotlight too but did not get anything this time round. Too poor and I still have not finished using the yarn I bought the other time.

lace crochet!

I went to Chinatown and got this after spending about two hours.I wanted to try out lace crochet for a while now, so I got a hook and lace thread from Golden Dragon store to try out. I hope it will turn out okay. I will post my first try once I attempt it.

I am currently busy watching a Chinese Drama called Nu ren tian xia. It is a story about Wu Ze Tian, the only female emperor in Chinese history and how the females in the story sort of manipulate the people around them to achieve their goals. It appeals to my feminist side so much. I am enjoying this show while crocheting my scarf for my Shanghai trip. Heh heh. Funfunfun.

That's all for today! Ciao!

Rebecca:)