Different worlds in a world.

I was just walking to where my father parked his car when I saw something that stirred some feelings in me. It was a mixture of feelings, sadness, helplessness and truthfully, a little bit of indifference. This feeling of indifference is a little scary, but it is there.

What did I see?

An old man sitting on the ledge, his broom and dustpan leaning on the wall next to him. His face was full of wrinkles, his skin was tanned, probably from hours of being exposed to the scorching Singapore sun. He looked down at his fingers and leaned on the wall, his face expressionless. His clothes were quite worn-out. 

Across the street, there were a line of pubs. Ladies dressed in their stunning short dresses and high heels socialises with their friend or acquaintances. In their hands, they held glasses of drinks that costed at least SGD$8. They have smiles pasted on their heavily made up faces. 

This scene is not an uncommon one. But I doubt many actually looks at it and see a significance. We have been socialized in such a way that this sight is considered normal. People would probably become annoyed if that old man was sitting within the sight of the people in the pubs.

However, this scene, to me, illustrates how the world is so.....unequal. The difference between the working class and the middle/upper class is so stark! The drink that the lady held in her hand could feed the old man for the entire day. This made me feel sad.

On the other hand, a part of me says that it is nothing to be sad about. SOMEONE has to sweep the roads and make it look sparkly clean! The rational and pragmatic part of me say it is part and parcel of the society. Someone gets to be up there, someone has to be down there. Serves him right for not working harder when he was younger. He could have been a retiree enjoying life now. Here comes the indifferent Rebecca.

Which makes me kind of disgusted with myself. Many Singaporeans would probably say it is the government's fault that there is such obvious inequality in our country. We can just apply the minimum wage law and everyone would live happily ever after. True? Sound legit. Must be true.

I beg to differ. Why do you have to blame it on the government? It cannot be entirely their fault. It is the way the world have evolved to become. Why not blame it on the boss of the cleaning company who does not give its workers more wage? Why not the public? If they are willing to pay more tax so that the government can set aside more money for these workers? These methods are not feasible. 

Helpless. 

Whose fault? It is difficult to blame anyone. Why push the blame to others anyway. If we do not litter the roads, we do not need anyone to clear the roads. Want to blame? Blame the human race. We are all at fault for the prevalence of inequality in today's society. What can we do to reduce the suffering of others?

Hey! How about we go back to being cave people? Then everyone will be the same.

http://brendancorris.deviantart.com/art/Rick-the-Raptor-Cave-People-142708124

Well, not exactly the same, but you get my flight. By the way, this artist has rather cute cartoons on his profile(click the link!) Quirky cartoons are not easy to draw. It requires creativity.

Okay, I am sort of just blabbering on because this scene (with the old man, not the cave people) was really stuck in my mind. But if you are still reading at this point of time, I leave you with a little nugget of thought. True equality will never happen because some of us tasted how is it like to have more than others and we are selfish. We want to keep enjoying ourselves at the expense of others. I am not willing to change my smartphone to my phoneasurus. My smartphone provides me with so much convenience which "I cannot live without". Business people says these kind of things all the time. It will affect their sales yada yada. Would not increasing your profit kill you? No.....okay maybe you get to eat less sashimi. But will the cost-saving measures you take, eg. employing more part timers so you do not need to pay for their insurance, kill other people? Yes, if that part timer has the misfortune to contract a terminal illness and they do not have sufficient money to pay the hospital for treatment and their job sucks so bad that they are not insured. This analogy is really not too far-off. Things happen. Let's think deeper and find a way to prevent it from becoming worse. We need not look at the government, if we see inside ourselves, we may find a way to do our part in making the world a more survivable place in the future.

Maybe one day when I grow older and get too caught up in the rat race, I will look back here and gain something from this blabberish.

That's all I wanted to say. I hope you got something out of it. ^^

Rebecca:)
P.S. Exams are around the corner. Wish me luck and all the best in my last lap to fulfilling my dream of going on an exchange programme!

A tough ride ahead. :'( Let's be strong together.

My grandmother spent her 70th birthday in the hospital this year. She recently had her 2nd stroke and she was admitted to the hospital for very low red blood cell count. The biopsy revealed she has stage 3 colon cancer.

My heart is breaking as I am typing this out.

When I heard the news, the first question that popped into my head was WHY?! Is it not bad enough that she has dementia and diabetes and 2 strokes? Why must god add one more illness to the list? Is it not bad enough that she does not even talk anymore? Why must this happen?

I have been tearing every night ever since.

Today, when I found out that the cancer was already on the 3rd stage, I really felt so so so helpless. My grandmother will be going for chemotherapy next Monday. This is happening way too fast. Time passes us by way too quickly. Where is the grandma that would bring me out on excursions with the community club members? Where is the grandma who asked me into her room to watch Sailor moon every afternoon?

I know that my grandma has to go through a lot a lot after today. Chemotherapy will change her appearance and.....oh god. I feel so emotional whenever I hear the word "cancer" or "tumour" or any words regarding cancer. I tell myself I have to be strong. The night I visit my grandma in the hospital, I saw the interaction between my grandparents. My grandpa was teasing her, but she does not make a single sound. She just laughs. She just shakes her head whenever we ask her whether she knows who we are. My heart breaks every single time. My brother could not control his tears and he cried in front of my grandparents while trying to be subtle. The scene was really touching. I had tears in my eyes but I forced them back. IF my grandpa can do it, and be strong, I must also be strong. To do my best to support the family. I do not know if my grandma knows, but I think if she did, she would not want to see us sobbing. She would want to see us smiling.

I am glad she makes some funny expressions sometimes. It is the only indication that we have to show that she can still hear us and she knows.

The chemotherapy can only prolong her life but not get rid of the tumour completely. Through this process, I hope that my family can be strong and give my grandma the best support ever.

奶奶, 我爱你.

Rebecca. 

Liberal Arts, useless?

This is a short post about something my friend shared on Facebook and is quite close to my heart. I am currently studying Sociology in NTU, Singapore. I have to say that my decision to study Sociology was one of my best academic decisions I made in my life. I am really grateful to my GP teacher in Junior College for making me un-dislike General Paper. Haha. It led me to a turning point in my life to decide to take Social Sciences. For one period of time, I really really wanted to take Political Science.

I am interested to learn more about how the world works and why our government and other governments work the way they do. Especially in terms of policy making. Are policies that are good for the citizens better or those that the citizens want more important? Both choices has it implications and consequences. I enjoy asking questions like that.

However, I am actually glad I did not take Political Science. Because I do not have any History background, I do not have adequate knowledge to aid me into thinking beneath the surface and looking into the possible historical background. That's was partially why I suffered when I did my essay on Terrorism last semester. I did not have the tools in my tool kit to comprehend why there are conflicts in the Middle-East and how their history with the western countries played a part in creating violence and conflict in the world today. I cannot say I regret not taking History though. I really did not enjoy source-based questions. I still do not. Haha.

I have to say I am very very very glad that I found Sociology and they accepted me into the course despite my less than sparkly results. After I got into my course, when people ask me what am I going to do after university, I will just answer, "I wanna be a civil servant". I really have no idea whatsoever as to what will I do in the civil service. "I wanna go to MCYS, because it is near my house and the job scope is probably something I am interested in.", "I also like Public Relations." I will answer like that. I do not understand why people look down on those taking Social Sciences. -.- I think I am enjoying myself most of the time. Not today though. I just watched a movie on how my food gets killed and gutted. Explicitly shown to me. *shudders* I am supposed to get something out of a non-narrated movie. Haha.

So, back to my topic on Social Sciences....my friend posted an article, albeit a very long one, about the value of studying the Liberal Arts. Just read it. I guarantee it will be worth your time and give you a new insight as to what the Liberal Arts is all about.

This is the link! I really feel that my decision to study Liberal Arts is justified now. Haha. ^^

It is a long read, but I hope you gained something from it just as I did.

That's all I wanted to say. Haha.

Rebecca :)